beatrice

Life is too short.

And why can’t our dogs live long as we do?

It’s been two months by now since I lost my baby girl. For people who knew me or silently read this blog, you probably have read about Bea (my Beatrice) and my love for her. For almost eleven years she was a prominent picture in my life, she may not be the first dog I owned but amongst it was her coming that made a significant impact in my life (to our lives probably). It was her who taught me great life lessons –how to be young and silly, to share love and kindness without condition, to enjoy the sun and even the rains and to embrace aging perhaps without regrets. She indeed is my favorite pup. ♥

In year 2007, a yellow lab came into our lives. Tho not my very first choice among her litter it was her charm that captures my heart so I immediately took her home. She has all the energy of a baby pup and probably the cutest I have met. Brown eyes which according to your Dadi was human eyes, pink nose that complete your mestiza looks.

The first year sharing our apartment with you was a big mess and a tiring one. Dadi had to go home everyday at mid-afternoon to check on you and feed you and clean whatever clutter there is. And Momi had to wipe floors after work because you peed and pooped everywhere. It gets exhausting at times but you know very well how to win me, your puppy ways I cannot resist.

You chewed almost everything from Dadi’s most loved shoes, down to the under garments, pillows, atm cards, the Cleopatra day bed you shared with Ate Shen and how many Havaianas slippers you chewed on dear? My patience was tested many times and all I can do was shrug it off because, because you’re too cute to receive my wrath.

Going out on a date with Dadi was never the same because we have you and we have to pick pet-friendly places where we could window shop, dine (a burger meal should be available for you) and sit for hours to have coffee and doughnuts. Oh, that pave way for winning the BGC story. You can read here.

Trick or Treat at Boni High Street, circa 2007

Great Dog Dash in SM MOA, circa 2008

Milo Marathon, circa 2009

Just like any paw-parent we wanted you on the limelight and we wanted you to be sociable so we calendared events where we can meet fellow doggos and humans.

Pet Blessing in Greenhills, circa 2011

We attended too many –Doggie Love, World Animal  Day, Pet Blessings and many more to count.

1.) 1st Birthday with McDonald’s Big Mac

2.) 1st Birthday at Home (which Lolo disapproves hehehe)

3.) 2nd Birthday with Purple Oven mini-cakes

4.) 3rd Birthday with McDonald’s Big Mac (again)

4th Birthday, and Dadi bought you a cake from Sugarhouse with a nice emblem.

5th Birthday with Saira and Shane, you’re cupcakes were from Tita Lenn’s Yummies

6th Birthday with Kuya Pao, a bit rush so I pulled up a quick birthday party with doughnuts and burgers. 

7th Birthday, I was initially planning a big party for you but Momi became busy so we decided to celebrate at Yellow Cab with Ate Sam and Kuya Pao. I know you enjoyed the burger and the caramel cake from Iko’s. 

8th Birthday, was a rush because Momi was busy preparing for an event back then. Tita C gave you this cake.

9th Birthday, despite Momi’s very weak condition here we managed to celebrate a little with pancit and cake.

The 10th Birthday, you were so sick a week before but I was surprised at how spirited you were at the party day. When I saw these photos of you, I knew how age has taken its toll on you but in my heart you will forever be my baby girl. ♥

We had a wagyu burger party at home and it was a merry event. It was your last birthday with us and Momi misses you more and more each day.

And birthdays were equally special and memorable because we wanted to celebrate life with you.

But not everyone loves you, there were cruel people at our neighborhood and I fear they might do something wicked so with heavy hearts we sent you home to Cavite at the parental’s house. It was so heart breaking, I’m not used to not seeing you everyday.

Blessing in disguise, your stay at the parental’s was! Because you have a bigger playground now and your reunion with Ate Shen was a happy sight.

And when a new pup entered the picture you welcome him warmly…

And became your boyfriend soon after.

Now, we have pups on the block and they were the cutest!

The second pregnancy was an accident because you try to sneak out one day and met the Lucky Boi. Oh dear, the second batch of pups were really, really loveable. And I don’t mind the special one because he is my darling today.

The Astro Boi. He misses you badly and on times the Lucky Boi bullies him he silently cries for Momi.

And now with heavy heart, how can I speak of your leaving? It gets too heavy and my heart aches really bad. I miss you, I miss you and I can’t promise not to cry every time I’d see photos of you.

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

 

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today marks 3 years

It has been said many times, times heals all wounds. I cannot agree at all because the wound remains agonising even three years after.

Today is Tatay’s third year in heaven and I still miss him much, same feeling I had back in 2015 after that dreadful call informing me of Tatay’s passing. Every time I’d go back to that day, my heart skips a beat and I feel shutting down. I know life and death should not be questioned but when Tatay had to go abruptly I had too many questions then and there. How can someone so alive taken away just like that?

Tay, been really bad the past years without you. I look like happy and fine in social media sites but truth is I dunno how to be happy, I dunno how to get back on track despite all my struggles. I feel lost many times and my battles are becoming bigger and heavier every day. I wish you were here. I wish you were here to comfort Nanay in times she feels like no one cares. And I wish I am enough and everyone around would appreciate all the hard work I put in.

As we memorialise this day, I hope you’d continue to guide and protect our family. Please continue to pick me up every time I will fall like you used to when I was a kid. Every time I’d lose hope, send me little reminder that I should not be feeling I’m at the end of the rope. Make me fully understand why I have to be here and you have to be there. And, make me believe that after each rain there would be rainbow and sunshine to follow, in that order always.

Circa 2012, I miss laid-back days like this one Tay. 

Here’s to everything –here’s to you. I hope someday it would be a lot easier for me to write about you and never cries. I hope it would be easier for me to process pain and failure. Tay, thank you would always not enough for all the days you cared for me. I’ll always miss you and I’ll never ever forget you, ever. Until we meet again. ♥

 

 

 

nothing in particular

Hell, it’s been another busy and tiring work week and I feel so exhausted ready to break down anytime. So many issues stalling around, and it’s taking its toll on me. I think I just get another year older at the end of this week and grey hair is a lot more obvious. And tho I’m embracing every strand of it I’d sometimes caught myself in a deep long breath. The years have gone by so quickly.

Anyway, it’s another long weekend for most because we get to enjoy another day off on Monday (Local Election). I don’t have definite plans yet tho there are errands lined for tomorrow, there’s also a friend’s invite for an afternoon snack and there’s my body that needs healing and rest. I think staying home is the best plan unless someone would really push me to go. On Sunday, I still have no final pick for the two mothers under my care, it’s Mother’s Day and also town fiesta and I just want to catch sight of the traditional procession of saints.

On Monday, I’ll cast my vote again just because I think it’s my responsibility as a Filipino citizen, and again like everyone else I will hope for change and a better leadership. The long weekend will pass like that including my daily routine when at home –sleep late, woke up early, fix whatever there is to fix, lounge at the veranda and get a breath of fresh air (my favorite actually at night time), savour hearty meals prepared by Nanay and play and clean the almighty doggos.

For now, enjoy your Friday night folks. I’m heading home and just excited to eat fast-food food. 🙂

To honour the matriarch here’s a throwback foto of us back in 2012. Happy Mother’s Day! 

 

P.S. I have two wedding in line, help me Lord 😛

 

 

work rants

Because work this week is getting really in my nerves I want this week to end right away, I want to escape the realm of the corporate slavery, witlessness of staffs and so much more.

Yesterday while I was holding my temper which I’m not really good at, I was seeing my ex-boss, mentor in me. I was very mad and very irritated because I feel how slow phased work was and the excuses were not really acceptable. My wrath was really like the former boss minus her throwing of things and cursing and public shaming, which I’m really, really tempted to do already. I don’t know but these batch of millennials and gen X babies are a bunch of headache and I won’t think twice to sign their papers should they decide to go. I don’t care if I need to go back at training people again, I want a fresh start, a healthier relationship with my staffs (healthier doesn’t mean I’m going to be friends with them), a productive day as always less error and oversights. Really, I’m not asking so much from them and yet they can’t deliver work that is commendable. Now, that explains my grey hair and skin aging –wrinkles, and mood swing and bad health. Work stresses me and I need a good distraction.

Now if you want to appease me, please buy my Homemade Kimchi because I need to score bigtime so I can go on vacay and recharge. 😀  I’m serious tho.

To order, please click HERE. ♥

 

 

 

12 years

I missed to share so many events here including how ze husband and I marked our 11th wedding anniversary last 2016. I do not have a good recall of everything that happened because I was also sickly that time. I remember we had dinner at Friday’s because it’s the default resto I could think to celebrate an occasion. Last December during our 12th year, we also had a very humble dinner at the Power Plant Mall. It was a weekday and Christmas was so close by so we couldn’t go far besides I was always in Lola mode –I get so tired easily. Although, I really miss travelling during occasions we really have to drop the idea because we’re so low in resources for the last two years. Bills after bills, there were too many overhead while everyone around us thought my wallet is thick as a bible. I felt we were the only one’s trying to save up even the last cent and its sad. I have to live paycheck-to-paycheck and constantly scramble to make ends meet. Sigh!

Despite the struggle and all hurdles I remain positive and prayerful, I choose to shrug all the negative emotions and live life as normal as it can be. It wasn’t easy but at least its giving me peace and let me sleep at night. Oh, sorry if this post sounds too heavy and emotional, I thought it’s not really bad to vent once in a while and probably at least I’m giving you a peep of how’s it been with me for the times I was hibernating and procrastinating on what’s next.

At the moment I’m nowhere back in track but at least I’m slowly back in writing and of things that makes me happier. Please consider this post as my short comeback to the blogosphere.

 

And hey, I get to dine at Farm Organics twice already. The experience was impressive and worth sharing. How do I start nga with food post? Hehehe.

During the first visit, it was a no-occasion day. I was window shopping and waiting for ze husband at the same time. If you frequent Power Plant Mall especially the lower ground, you’ll notice that there’s a few fast-food outlets in there, only the big players so the rest were mid-range restaurants that will still cost you a thousand bucks for a small meal. Reality bites but mostly mall-goers at Rockwell are well-off and probably reside at the neighboring Bel-air or the surrounding exclusive villages, so they won’t mind the high priced single plate (imo). So, sometimes you really need to plan or set aside some when visiting this side of the city. And because I’ve been craving for the famed steak of Farm Organics, just imagine my wish coming true, finally! 😀

We got the New York Steak (local all-natural), medium-well woodfired cut that was really tender and delicious. I love their mushroom gravy; it was the perfect dip also of their Farm bread that look a lot like Pan de Manila’s pandesal.

Also got the Farm Salad with organic lettuce, feta cheese candied walnuts, arugula and The Farm mango vinaigrette dressing. And because we wanted something more, I ordered the Classic Cheeseburger –simply cheese, organic lettuce and sauce.

During our second visit, I don’t have any guilt at all because we’re celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary. I thought I can order anything I fancy this time except that I don’t like us to look PGs (patay gutom) with plenty of food for two. Hehehe.

This time we got the Rib Eye cut (you can choose between local all-natural and certified organic meat), well I thought it’s all the same and healthy. I love this cut especially its excellent flavor.

Got a plate of their Truffle Mushroom Pasta and it didn’t disappoint and serving was just right.

And to end our anniversary dinner we had the Chocolate Cheesecake with ganache.

Well, we don’t need a significant number to celebrate occasions like ours. Every year of our togetherness is a milestone already because we stand the test of time and circumstances and if there’s more to come I know we’ll let humour take on the very complex one and a good laugh together is all that matters. ♥

 

 

THE FARM ORGANICS | Lower Ground Floor, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati City | T. +632 8528228

 

i’m 18 with 26 years experience

How times flies is so gasgas but I can’t think of a more appropriate catchphrase to say how fast a year can be. I turned a year older again, something that only some super powers can stop from happening every year. At forty-four, I’m not so proud of what I have become. I wish I can turn back time at 25 and rearrange my life, I wish there’s a way to be young again so I can work harder and grab all the opportunities that passed and probably did not commit those countless mistakes in the past. Yes, I have regrets, too many disappointments and an unhappy soul. But I’d like to think that at this point I still have time, and I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I haven’t gone thru all those dark phases of life. Each has his own life lessons and I’m still learning everyday, I’m lucky on so many counts!

So, last month I blew another candle and marked another birthday. Because my birthday fell on a Sunday I had lunch for my maternal family. It was timing because it was also the last weekend of my cousin and fam who were vacationing from Dubai, it was our last hurray to end the eventful holiday season.

While I want the occasion to be an exclusive family affair, little did I know that my closest girl friends were invited by Nanay. It was sort of a surprise that didn’t turned out well because the breakfast congee was cancelled at last minute. Not as good as my planning skill, hehehe. Anyhow, the lunch we prepared was simple and enough to satisfy the post-holiday cravings. Thank you fam for coming to celebrate our birthdays (it was ze husband’s too a day before mine, remember?).

Thank you also to Vi and Mayora for coming, I’ll promise to hook up this Feb when all the ganaps are over.

Thank you also to my team back at the office for the healthy breakfast spread, you guys never failed to surprise me every year and I’m still not giving up on my silent request until you thought of it one day –why not a Kate Spade inspired party! 😛

And to my dear husband, please get me this party ⇑⇑⇑ when I rock the 45th. 🙂

 

 

Dear Lord, I praise you with all my heart and ask you cleanse me once more. I know I’ve fault you time and time again and many times I thought I know better, forgive my shortcomings. Thank you for the year that was and for the years ahead. Thank you for my health, for making me well in 2017 because I feel healed and whole. Thank you for the gift of family and friends. As I face the new year, I pray for better opportunities so I can provide for the family. I pray for inner peace and strength to survive all the mishaps of life and lastly please extend all blessings and guidance to my family. These I pray in Jesus name, Amen.